Thursday, April 9, 2020

Shooting the Sacred Cow


There is a sacred cow in the corporate environment that seems to be rampant more especially amongst Africans. This sacred cow is what pulls back a lot of us from pursuing greatness in our organizations or even aspiring for a greater position beyond our current standing. “Working beyond your call of duty is tantamount to being obsequious or boot-licking to your superiors.”
This is the notion that has crippled our efforts to progress in our careers. What usually occurs is individuals in the same position or rank in an organization, unconsciously, set a bar in terms of the effort they put in their work. A norm is usual created that anyone who tries to perform beyond their call of duty or beyond the confinements of that “norm” is basically trying to gain unfair favour from their superiors or they think they are better than others. And for some reason, people tend not to stand up and defend themselves against such or even have the stand for what they know is right and continue to pursue their goal. Individuals fear being ostracized by their peers more and succumb to performing at par.
Of the 7 years of corporate experience I have, I’ve seen this play out in a department setting. Individuals even tend to shrug and bury themselves on their chairs when a public announcement is made to congratulate them for above par performance mainly because they know of the backlash they will receive from their peers afterwards. This backlash may not always come to them directly but even as “jokes” or subtle condemnation like, “Oh! Here comes our Junior partner!” Such comments are basically a way to deter those who do well from staying on that good streak. This is a deadly culture that superiors tend to never pay attention to or maybe they don’t see it at all. However, to promote efficiency and effectiveness in the work environment, shooting this sacred cow is imperative.
Despite the existence of this counterproductive organizational culture, there is always a visionary employee, with focus and knowing exactly what they want in life and doing all it takes to arrive at their goal, that will not agree to stay under that veil of deceit. They basically burst these myths and social norms and defy the laws of this culture. It is never an easy task to go against a culture but with confidence and focus and reminding oneself of why you do what you do, that goal alone breaks the walls erected by these sacred cows and erases all available limits. One can perform and exert more effort to get to a level they aspire to. To this individual, the negative response of their peers weighs less compared to the hunger for success and to see themselves become someone in life or in that company. Office and passage gossip become none of their concern as they see the bigger picture in pursuing growth and success. The constant voice in their head when propaganda comes is, keep working hard, stay focused and keep your eyes on the goal, eventually the hard work will pay off.
These individuals understand that all this negative talk by their peers is a draw back and rather they focus on achieving their highest potential. In most cases the sacred cows come from individuals who are vision-less and put minimum effort in their work yet complain about the size of their pie at the end of the month. It is important to ensure that as individuals in a corporate setting we aim to shoot these sacred cows and encourage one another to strive to realize our potential in our professions if we want to see a productive and booming Africa. This is where great leaders, millionaires and game changers will be birthed. It all starts with our attitudes and in our heads when we question why we do what we do and the consequences of whatever action we take in every area of our lives.
I am for the death of these sacred cows and I believe this short piece of sharing is “one bullet” to shooting these sacred cows and making our place of work a pool of true professionals and tomorrows’ leaders.
Written By: Modiredi K. Ketshabetswe

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Behind me Ego Stroker!


We tend to get stuck and don't grow because of the calibre of individuals we keep around us.

Ego strokers
These are people that we call friends and they rank high on the friendship list yet all they do is stroke our egos. They are also called yes-men. There is nothing you say or do that they can say a word against even when they feel you're wrong. You become like their little God or sometimes a child to them. 

As much as it is nice to be complimented and praised for something, is it really worth it if the compliment is not really genuine? They hide the truth behind the pretence that they are trying not to discourage you. Well in fact they give you the impression that you have arrived and find no use in persuing excellence in your craft because according to them, "Brother you were on fire 🔥!"  This however gives you the wrong impression of yourself and in all honesty it's all lies sometimes in the name of "I am being nice" . You find no reason to sharpen your axe and work on your current state, and that gets you stuck and disrupts self development.

People who do this are not good for anyone because they hinder growth and development let alone realisation of full potential.

Time and again i get bashed by my friends for saying someone is fake due to the failure to fully express myself quite well to say that the person is actually an ego stroker,an injector of false confidence and disruptor of growth. I have somehow over the years managed to sniff from afar ego strokers and automatically without being conscious about it, the connection with such people weakens because my subconscious would put a red flag on the individual. The friendship then becomes a casual, shallow one, not that I mind, I mean I am about growth.

Self Development Facilitators
Personally I respect and strive to surround myself and even love being in the environment of people who give constructive criticism because I believe they point out the points where I excel and where I have my shortfalls so I work on them to develop myself further and become a better individual at what I do. I normally form strong long lasting bonds with such people and I actually believe they are important to me as they help me grow and tap into my u unharnessed potential. I am also free to express myself and give advise to these friends. These I call the friends of self development, the pushers and true friends.

So yes I am all for not discouraging people by just pointing out what they do wrong, but the reverse is also not helpful if you don't balance it with the missed spots. A balance should be found and a proper speech deviced so that we don't focus on one leg and cause an imbalance on the other. Let's point out what somebody did right but also point out improvement areas to help that person grow in that area.

A motto that I grew up with that has made me what I am now was that we "Use every negativity as a stepping stone to success. Life is like photography, we develop from the negatives."

So evaluate your life and i am in no way saying desert your friends, Noo! Hear me well, I'm basically saying ensure the voices that surround you add on if not encourage self growth and development.

" True friends are those who push you towards the better version of you that they see every time you hit a milestone" - Modiredi

"You have achieved this, oh yes you can achieve even better"

"We got the heart of what you were saying, and it was quite profound. Next time you can work on your flow of idea to fully drive the point home and keep people in the same frequency as you."

"You got a B, with the right amount of dedication, hard work and prayer, you can get a distinction on this paper."

The aforementioned statements don't hurt at all. Let's just try that and build that person we call a friend.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

“Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing with another man..” DON’T GET TOO COMFORTABLE




So much has happened, and left us with so many questions.  If we were dead, I’d say our souls were left lingering, lost in space, confused as to whether we are really dead, because we did not see our “death” coming. Wondering why things happened the way they did. And because of anger and bitterness at that time I decided to take the easy way round! Oh yes of course! BLAME GAME seemed like the only way out of the maze. I decided to overlook all these other signs of a coming storm and took the easy way out. I guess that was the only reasonable thing for me to do at the time as it was kind of “served to me” on a platter. Who was I kidding! Thinking it would make all these feelings go away! Negro please! They say time is the cure of all pains, but how on earth could I expect the cure when I kept hiding my wound and pretending I’m nursing it while I kept showing a different one to the Doctor. Well, it was a matter of time before I realised the need to just face my demons and let time do its proper healing to the right wound. But still after this great epiphany, I still wasn’t gutsy enough to get out there and really talk about this. Meeting up made the situations even worse, emotions were running high. Heaven knows I needed a hug! Eish!

Anyway, throughout all this suffering, self-torture I must add, I found a silver lining. I found God, who told me He could relieve me of this burden. Things felt a little easier but still God was pushing me to deal with my emotions. He spoke to me through dreams. Now when I look back I can tell it was all him. Some of the dreams now make sense. Like how I dreamt I had a son that I wasn’t told about. The thing is in the dream I didn’t see my son, it was just a conversation between me and the mother. Now this is the revelation I get from this dream now. The son represented some sort of responsibility which one could say a bit of a burden. It was something that I had to take care of but I didn’t. I believe God was saying go back my son and make things right. There is so much to be said and so much to be heard. Everything made sense after the “After-cell” meeting. All Glory to God.

A lot was said during the meeting; even I was surprised all that came from my mouth. I guess that’s what happens when you let your heart do the talking. Man it’s been a span since I did that! What a great feeling! Even so, I feel I should just write this down just in case I left some things out. Now dealing with the events before the event that lead to the separation, there are so many questions I believe you kept asking yourself. So I will try to address the ones I can here. I hope what I say here would make most if not all question marks disappear.

First things first I have to apologise. I have to apologise for making you look bad. Making you pay for all of this while I had my crimes to pay for too. What hurts me the most now is how people out there look at you like you are a bad person.  “Oh how could she do this to you!?” And me sitting there, playing victim around people who didn’t know a thing about us. All they did was just judge from the outside. I am genuinely sorry for all this.

Now when I look back, I believe the thing that really messed me up was getting too comfortable. I was so in love and got too comfortable along the way. I was too stupid and failed to realise that love alone was not enough. Some action was needed to manifest that love and I felt at the time that my future with you was certain. My mind was made up about you. But clearly I was too stupid to see the big mistake I was making. Making time to spend time with the friends and saw everyday and complaining that I couldn’t  see you whenever you wanted to come over or for us to just meet. How could I let go of the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I just want you to know that my reaction at the time or lack thereof to you wasn’t because of you or anything you did. It was all because of my stupidity and blindness to the mess I was creating. When I think of all the things I said and the lack of attention I put you through, I feel like what eventually happened, happened for a reason. I deserved all of it for not treating you the way I should have. You know, loving you the way you deserved.  And for that I would never forgive myself.

Now, I feel really bad because of the scars I caused you. It’s like I’ve stopped you from feeling again. I don’t like the fact that you’ve closed yourself to certain feelings and are now even super cautious of things you do in your relationship. The poor guy doesn’t deserve to suffer because of me; neither do you have to go through that. I wish I had a way to make it all go away. For you to open up again and be the best I know you can be.

Now this might sound a little cheesy but, to a certain extent I feel it does explain greatly how I feel and the regret I have now for not being the best I could be for you. I mean Bruno Mars puts it nicely in his song by saying, “Too young, too damn to realise that I should have bought you flowers and held your hand. Should’ve gave you all my hours when I had the chance. Taking you to every party because all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby is dancing, but she’s dancing with another man.” “My pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways caused a good strong woman like you to walk out of my life. Now I never, never got  to clear up the mess I made, and it haunts every time I close my eyes.  Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong. I know I’m probably much too late, to try and apologise for my mistake, but I just wanted you to know…….”

I will always love you buddy!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My "SEPTEMBER 11" Soon to be published Testimony

                                                       CAUTION: GOD @ WORK!





It is really true that when your relationship with God becomes stronger Satan also reinforces his tactics to counter that. This statement was confirmed to be true on September 11 2012, the time I would say I had a share of my very own “American September 11” experience. The Tuesday morning of September 11, I woke up at 0540am to my alarm clock, which is the usual time I get out of bed to get ready to go to work. As I put my feet down from the bed, they felt a bit weird. Since I was just half awake, I lifted my feet up onto the bed, thinking maybe I was just dreaming. I took a 5 minutes nap and woke up again, set my feet on the ground and I felt that weirdness again. I waddled about in the dark trying to see if the feeling would go away, rather it got worse and I went straight to switching on the light. Behold, surrounding my feet and every squared metre of my room was water! I stood there for a few seconds baffled by what I saw. I opened my bedroom door to go see what could be the source of the problem. I checked the bathrooms and everything was ok, headed down the passage to the kitchen where there was a sound of gushing water. Just under the kitchen I found a burst water pipe. It seemed like the pipe burst just after midnight and water had been flowing to different rooms in the house. I ran over to my mother’s room. She was still asleep at that time. I woke her up and told her what had happened. I then proceeded to the guest room to check if it was affected and unfortunately it was and it was as bad as it was in my room and my mother’s room (Fully flooded). 

Now, this is the most amazing thing that my mother and I still can’t believe. The closest room to the kitchen is the lounge area, which by the GRACE of the Almighty seemed to have been strategically kept dry. The reason I use “strategically” is because it seemed planned out and executed perfectly. 2/3rd of the lounge area was completely DRY. The part that had electronic appliances, adapters and extension cords lying on the floor was without even a drop of water while the bedroom floors which are further away from the kitchen where fully submerged in water. This was no doubt the work of the Lord. God only knows what could have happened if the water went that far and I got out of bed and stepped in water with flowing current! I give Glory and Honour to God for having spared my life. I am alive because of his Grace over my life. 

When I sat down after all the work of moving furniture in and out of the house I remembered that just on Sunday at church, Pastor Marc was preaching a message entitled “Why we need the Holy Spirit?” and that on that day I began speaking in tongues for the very first time. It then dawned to me that this whole situation could have been an attempt by the devil to stop what the Lord has planned for my life. (In other words my baptisms of the holy spirit was a threat to the devil). It shook me for some time. But then again I remembered I serve a mighty God, who is there for me in all circumstances. He has promised me in Jeremiah 15: 20 that whoever fights against me shall not prevail for he is with me, to save and deliver me. Blessed be the name of the Lord!! He shall never leave nor forsake us!AMEN!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

First day at WORK! (Internship)


INTERNSHIPPPPPPPppppp...woooRRRRKKKKKKK
First day I reported to work was the 13th of August 2012, on a Monday afternoon. Soon after I collected my internship forms and all the necessary stuff, I made my way to Extension 4 right in the middle of the City, Gaborone. As I walked through the gates of the building, right away I knew I was gonna intern in a small firm, but that did not take away my enthusiasm to start working. I went straight to the reception area and told the sweet lady that attended me that I was sent from the department of national internship. First impressions: right away she knew what to do with me. I did not have to wait for long hours waiting for somebody to attend us. She called my soon to be supervisor and made her aware of my arrival to the firm. In seconds I was knocking on the supervisor’s door who warmly welcomed me to her very warm and cozy office. She looked very kind and sweet which is not an attribute you would expect from a woman of the mid fifties. She extended her hand to officially welcome me, offered me a chair and started to explain what Motswedi is all about…In my head I was like, damn!, this sounds like too much work, but I am definitely up for the challenge! After the brief introduction about the company she escorted me to the manager’s office. Chills down my spine!! U know that moment!! Yah well, I got there, headed by the supervisor as she knew where the place was…As I turned and looked I found what I knew right away should be a manager. His body structure oozed authority and you can tell that from a million miles away. Waiting to hear a loud scary voice, the supervisor introduced me to him and he began to talk. To my surprise a gentle, warm and welcoming voice started speaking. I was like “Halleluyah” in my heart. Nobody wants to work for a lion! The welcome was more of a casual thing, not too professional yet spot on straight to the point kinda introduction. So yah, because I wasn’t dressed for work (formal), instead in my jeans and a t-shirt, right after the Manager’s introduction the supervisor told me I can go home and report for work the next day. Plus I wasn’t ready to kick-start right then. So I left the premises, overwhelmed by joy and thanks to the God almighty! Oh, boy you should have seen me walking along Main Mall like I was on top of the world. Nothing could take away that joy and contentment. I mean you coming to Botswana and right away getting an internship right there without having to struggle a bit… So of God! 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

This is what I mean to her: 7 THINGS




7 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
 I hate that you always make me feel bad for screaming at you, you are always so calm
 I hate how you are so neat, like you always fold up my clothes and put them properly on the floor, makes me feel like I’m not the girl.
 I hate how I always feel jealous but you never show any such feelings < I’m not the jealous type kana>
 I hate how you are so nice and all good with people, makes me look bad rra.
 I hate the fact that you hate reading, so I’m forced to always talk even though it’s hard.
 I hate how you are all smart and stuff and then act all modest about it.
 Most of all, I hate how all these stuff I hate are exactly what makes me fall for you harder.

7 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT YOU
 I like the way you look at me as if there is so much to say and yet you never say anything.
 I like how I feel when I’m with you, SAFE.
 I like how I call and I have absolutely nothing yet you don’t ever want to hang up.
 I like how you always laugh when I do something silly, say something funny and when I act shy.
 I like how you always wanna say everything, what you feel, even when it’s sometimes a lot of details
 I like the way you sound over the phone, sometimes it makes me think you are near.
 I like how you always never want to win an argument even though sometimes you are right.


...and of course....you make me love you and I feel silly just writing this, but that’s how you make me feel. ♥

Am I being a brat? Why don't I like this Person? Is this how sons from single parent families react to their mothers' relationships? SMH!


Saturday 17 July 2010-07-18
Why is it that some people would go an extra mile for other people but wouldn’t for their own family?
“BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER”
Well it seems as if blood has lost its density for other people. Once questioned to explain their behaviour, such individuals come up with different explanations to account for this behaviour. Some blame it on love.
LOVE: “It’s because I love him/her that I am willing to go an extra mile.” Well from my own vantage point, love should be a mutual thing, not a one way stream. Both concerned partners must be willing to go an extra mile or come to a compromise to meet each other half way. Again you should love your partner too much not to let him/her go overboard. Maybe it’s true what they say about love.
“LOVE BLINDS”
I believe one way stream love is the one to be associated with this saying. This is because it is in such situations, one way stream love, which one is willing to go overboard for the other partner. This individual becomes blinded with love for the other partner that he/she does not see that at times he/she is being used. This becomes his/her weakness. She brings 75% into the relationship whereas the partner brings only 25%, which is a clear indication that his/her partner is basically reaping off the benefits of being in a relationship with him/her. Such a partner who realises this kind of weakness in their partner does not give much about love, the true unconditional love that the poor woman or man directs to him/her.

DESPERATION: At times desperation accounts for this irrational behaviour if I may call it that. One partner may be seeking one thing from another that he/she is willing to walk through the fires of hell in anticipation of obtaining that particular need. Here also it’s quite clear that love is one-sided, the other partner is just enjoying the benefits.

The painful thing at the end of the day is may be that the loving partner does not get all that he/she wanted, but rather get left with nothing due to the other partner who has been taking everything away without equally bringing in something.
“Empty heart + empty pockets= great heart ache +Lost hope”
NB! Shame! That’s all that’s left on people’s mouths about you.
Let’s try to understand that we cannot fully understand or know a person. Everyone has the potential of being mischievous.
LET’S LOVE WITH OUR EYES OPEN AND NOT FORGET WHERE WE ARE FROM!!